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My Story

Tears rolled down my face as my inner critic whispered, ‘you’re not good enough, there’s something wrong with you’. ‘If only you were better, things would be different’.

The pain of rejection from a whirlwind romance left me heartbroken. I noticed a pattern of rejection in relationships, although in the past, I had often ended them feeling unfulfilled, unheard or disrespected.

 

Rejection hit me hard & I realised something was hidden from my view. Despite a few years of reading self help books & listening to experts, the answer remained out of reach. Here I was, 40 years old & single, unable to grasp the fulfilling relationship that seemed effortless for others.

In desperation, I sought the help of a coach that changed everything. My eyes opened, revealing that I’d spent my life living in a cage, trapped by fear, expectations of who I should be & how I should live my life.

Every action & every decision was based on gaining the approval of others. I thought pleasing everyone & being perfect would protect me from rejection, shame, embarrassment & other painful emotions.

I was wrong! I was attempting to control the world from a place of fear, striving for perfection, overthinking, giving too much, avoiding conflict, adapting to what others wanted & continually judging myself. The self imposed prison of people pleasing had disconnected me from others & most tragically, severed the connection with my true self.

I didn’t know what I truly wanted, who I really was or how I felt. My voice had been silenced & I could only express what others thought I should want, feel & be. This led to patterns in relationships, where I didn't express my true feelings, built resentment & felt unheard. Or I tried so hard to be perfect that people couldn't see the real me & rejected me.

As I unravelled my relational patterns & reconnected with my true self, something amazing happened! I learned to love myself & live my life for me. I felt free & calm, for the first time in my life. The critical voice faded & a kind, compassionate voice emerged. I discovered my true identity, thoughts, feelings & effective ways to communicate them.

I started setting healthy boundaries to protect my well being & finally felt seen, heard & respected in relationships. I removed my mask & discovered that vulnerability & showing my true self is what creates real connection with others.

One of the biggest realisations was that people are responsible for their own feelings. Not everyone will like me & that’s okay. My worth does not depend on any external factors, including others approval.

It’s been a journey & continues to be, but life & relationships are so much different, I'm free to be me & feel at peace, knowing I'm my own best friend.

I'm now passionate about helping others break free from people pleasing. If this resonates with you, choose yourself, maybe for the first time in your life & let me help you create change. Inner peace, freedom to be yourself, authentic relationships & a life that feels good are waiting for you!

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